We killed our land line!

The idea had been ruminating in the background for some time. I had unconsciously started putting down my cell number when filling in forms, eschewing the “home” number, as I would never be there to answer the phone. Usually, I was away, working, or tending my son, or playing.

It became an irritating ritual, upon arriving at home each evening, to listen to the several messages on our answering machine. Pen in hand, push the button, ready to scribble frantically the wisdom about to be imparted by the caller… FAIL!

FIRST MESSAGE: Just another politician, usually beseeching me to malama big business so they could trickle some of that wealth down to me. Right. DELETE!

SECOND MESSAGE: Competing politician telling how bad the first caller was for calling my phone and leaving political messages. FAIL! DELETE!

THIRD MESSAGE: Do you want to sell your timeshare…? FAIL! DELETE!

FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!

Then two nights ago (Sunday night), my wife asks, “Do you care if we discontinue our home number?,” to which my immediate response is, “Duh?! Why didn’t I think of that?!”

She tells me that the phone bill is $30 a month! $360 per year!

So I go to http://www.hawaiiantel.net and look for the customer service phone number. FAIL! No phone number listed on their web site. They make me fill in a form and promise to call within 3 business days. And, by the way, “What was it you wanted to talk to us about?”

I WANT TO DISCONTINUE MY PHONE SERVICE!

I leave my cell number for the callback.

On Monday morning, early, I get the call from Hawaiian Tel.

“Whyyyyyy are you leaving us? We’re soooo saaaaad!”

We’re going wireless, all cell phone, all the time.

“Did you know that when there is a power outage, your cell phone won’t work any more?”

Not true, says I. Last power outage, I knew within one minute where there was power on the island, and where there was not, due to iPhone and Twitter. Yes, I have plenty of backup batteries for the cell phone, thank you.

“But you’ve had your number for such a long time! Won’t people keep calling you at your old number?”

Yes, they will. And all those politicians, telemarketers and so-called pollsters will get a “Number disconnected,” message, every single time! Hasta la vista, baby!

So here is public notice to everyone who knew my old home number. It is pau.

If you want to talk to me, call the cell. If you don’t know the cell number, email me or DM me on Twitter. Message me on Facebook. Let me know what you want to sell or who you want me to vote for. Maybe I’ll share my cell number.

Maybe I won’t!  🙂

Blaine

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